The idea that a partner is using you can be difficult to accept, especially when it seems that they care about you. It is important to understand the true intentions of your beloved before you invest or make a significant sacrifice in a relationship that is not worthy of it. A kind and sincere person by nature immediately begins to trust the beloved and sees only the good in him. Caring nature of the partner can put you on the hook of his manipulations. These questions will help to understand whether you are really in love with each other or you go on about other people’s desires:
1. How often do you ask for your partner’s approval?
Can you buy a new dress because you liked it, or will you consult with the guy before? Have there been cases when he told you to change your manners and you agreed to it? Manipulation of a person’s opinion makes him eventually fall under the influence of his chosen one and dance to his tune. In a normal relationship, this will not happen: the person must accept you, or disperse because of irreconcilable disagreements. If you hide something from a man, afraid that he will not like it, as in the anecdote about a broken car, it is time to change something.
2. How often do you belittle your own success?
Your man may lose his job, fail his master’s exams, or just accidentally break his leg. Does this mean that you must share his pain? You should support him in a difficult situation, but you can not immerse yourself in negative emotions. A loving person will never want you to suffer with him, but will say: “It’s okay, I can do it, and everything will be fine again. So if you have to hide a high salary in order not to hurt a man’s ego, or to refuse a good offer with the prospect of career growth, the situation in your couple is not the best.
3. Have you had to give up your hobbies?
Take a hypothetical pair of John and Jane. John loves fishing and every weekend rides on the river with friends. Jane does not understand anything about fishing, and nature can not stand – she likes to dance and embroidery. On learning about it, John is ashamed of her beloved for her hobby, to which she is offended, and then gives up on them. This is not the way it should be – it is for sure. In addition to working on personal boundaries, this couple should learn to respect each other’s interests. It is normal when partners spend part of their time separately and do not force themselves to dive into a hobby they are not interested in.